Oh, I really don’t like this…

There’s a quiet clarity that comes over me when I step into the studio; like a tide rolling in, knowing exactly where it needs to go. The air hums with unhurried sounds: the clink of oily, chunky brushes in jars full of lavender terpenoil... Light spills lazily across the floor; it knows it’s welcome here. Gentle air flow.

That quiet became especially important during the pandemic, when my sister and I were pouring everything into Chill Jane, our health and wellness brand. We wanted a phrase that could hold opposites; grounded yet playful, steady yet light. We landed on three words:

Relax. Relate. Release.

They started as a private mood between sisters, then made their way onto our soda cans. Over time, they slipped into my movements; part mantra, part anchor.

Now, in 2025, those words are guiding me again. I have been sprinting to build the infrastructure for The BioCycle Hub. This August, after several trials and errors, feels like a plateau; not the breathless, burnt-out kind, but one where you can actually take in the view.

When I picked up a paintbrush earlier this year, I held it too tightly, chasing perfection. Halfway through, I caught myself thinking, oh, I really don’t like this. It was tight, too contrived. A sentiment that is much too fleeting to hang on a wall. I poked around at it thinking I could redeem the sunk cost before giving it up. Weeks later, I came back with a roller full of gesso, painted over it; started again. The pattern makes the dress. That had to stay. All other lines blurred. The work got messier, more alive.

Painting. Kundalini yoga. Community. Nurishment. They’re all part of the same rhythm; call and response, stimulus and truth. On days when words fail, I paint. When chaos takes over, I mark them all down. When plans unravel, I return to my kundalini practice.

Relax. Relate. Release.
It’s not an instruction; it’s an invitation. A reminder that letting go, just enough, is often the only way to truly begin again.